Playing Small Is A Learned Behavior

Playing Small is a learned behavior. It can be unlearned.

When you want to speak up and make your own choices, what voice do you hear in your head?

What does it say?

Does it support you and cheer you on? Or does it warn you about the potential dangers? Telling you that you need to stick to the way things are done or else you will fall out of grace, be excluded, ostracized?

As women we have been conditioned for centuries to seek out the safety of the group, because we barely had any sovereignty over our lives. For many of us it’s only two or three generations ago since we became able to vote*. Marriages were decided for us, children were born and that was it.

Getting fired because your were pregnant or got married was the norm for your mother and grandmother. To get a credit card they needed the signature of their husband!

All this to say that we have been conditioned by this environment, by the modelling of our mothers and grandmothers. They really needed the safety of their peers and couldn’t afford to take any risks. No blame or shame here, don’t get me wrong.

But these are the voices that we still hear in our heads. Even when we are no longer bound by all these restrictions of the past.
This is learned behavior. Women take less risks in general and don’t speak up because of unconscious patterns like this.

So what’s the antidote you ask?


That’s where it starts. Listen to these voices and ask yourself: whose voice is this? Is it true? Is it MY truth?

Knowing YOUR choice and using your OWN voice is key here. It may take some practicing to unlearn and listen to your inner wisdom instead of external fear-based messages.

Playing Small IS a learned behavior and it CAN be unlearned!

I assure you, it will make you feel SOO much better! Making your own choices and taking full responsibility of the result means you don’t have to play small anymore. Your choice = your result.

And I’m happy to guide you on your way!

Have a great week,


PS. Great read for those of you that are ready: Playing Big by Tara Mohr

*Women’s Suffrage – In Europe: Switzerland gained the right to women’s vote in federal elections in 1971, Liechtenstein women only in 1984!

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